Ah, the blessed month of April. Fraught with windstorms, snow flurries, ice slicing up your cheeks, your red calves quivering in the wind and longing for sunshine and a good pair of shorts, and a month full of 40% off poetry discounts at the BYU Bookstore! I keep missing my office hours because I'm so distracted by the 40% off display table. It's okay. No one comes anyway. To kick of poetry month (six days late) and to distract myself from the task at hand, namely writing my African lit paper (due tomorrow), here's a snarky little prose poem that I find both pretty and fairly amusing in its own special way.
Metaphors
It is pleasing to know there are so many metaphors in this world. And I'm told the number is growing all the time. Last week an Asian newspaper reported that an immense metaphor surfaced just off the coast of India and was creating quite a stir. Christians and Muslims forbad the faithful to gaze upon it. Hindus showered it with flowers. Buddhists claimed it had been there all along. A single metaphor can upend the world and soon everyone is wearing orange or speaking in falsetto or weeping in the streets. Before they present themselves to mankind, most prophets spend years gathering metaphors in the desert, which is like an orchard where metaphors flourish without a trace of rain.
-David Shumate
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Lame civ class. Poem of the Week.
I hate, hate, hate TAing for the civ class I am accidentally TAing this semester. I hate ancient civ. It's awful. And so boring. I REALLY DON'T CARE about ancient Greek dead people. Sorry. Except for some of them, like Aeschylus and Sophocles. Anyway. This is a lovely poem that is better than ancient civilizations and is much better than ancient philosophers, because really? Who cares. The end.
Etymology
Her body by the fire
Mimicked the light-conferring midnights
Of philosophy.
Suppose they are dead now.
Isn't "dead now" an odd expression?
The sound of the owls outside
And the wind soughing in the trees
Catches in their ears, is sent out
In scouting parties of sensation down their spines.
If you say it became language or it was nothing,
Who touched whom?
In what hurtle of starlight?
Poor language, poor theory
Of language. The shards of skull
In the Egyptian museum looked like maps of the wind-eroded
Canyon labyrinths from which,
Standing on the verge
In the yellow of a dwindling fall, you hear
Echo and re-echo the cries of terns
Fishing the worked silver of a rapids.
And what to say of her wetness? The Anglo-Saxons
Had a name for it. They called it silm.
They were navigators. It was also
Their word for the look of moonlight on the sea.
-Robert Hass
That was a picture I took of the place mat that the nice lady who owned the rockin bed and breakfast in Weymouth had at her breakfast table. I took a picture because I thought it was the prettiest place mat I had ever seen and I did not want to leave the ocean. I am spending a lot of time torturing myself because I WANT TO BE AT THE OCEAN and not here, where I need to write two papers that are due next week, since we only have one more week of school which is SCARY. To cheer myself up about not being at the ocean, here are some pictures that make me happy.
On the cliffs at that place where Arthur's castle was. What was that place called? The New Age place where Nicholas Cage randomly was. TINTAGEL. It was gorgeous there.
Jon, after surmounting the tallest peak of the epic Jurassic Coast.
Glastonbury is a beautiful place full of beautiful people.
AND IT'S ALMOST SUMMER SO IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR US TO GO BACK HERE! :
Here meaning Bryce Canyon, which is LOVELY.
And truly, it is almost SUMMERTIMES, which are exciting times.
Etymology
Her body by the fire
Mimicked the light-conferring midnights
Of philosophy.
Suppose they are dead now.
Isn't "dead now" an odd expression?
The sound of the owls outside
And the wind soughing in the trees
Catches in their ears, is sent out
In scouting parties of sensation down their spines.
If you say it became language or it was nothing,
Who touched whom?
In what hurtle of starlight?
Poor language, poor theory
Of language. The shards of skull
In the Egyptian museum looked like maps of the wind-eroded
Canyon labyrinths from which,
Standing on the verge
In the yellow of a dwindling fall, you hear
Echo and re-echo the cries of terns
Fishing the worked silver of a rapids.
And what to say of her wetness? The Anglo-Saxons
Had a name for it. They called it silm.
They were navigators. It was also
Their word for the look of moonlight on the sea.
-Robert Hass
That was a picture I took of the place mat that the nice lady who owned the rockin bed and breakfast in Weymouth had at her breakfast table. I took a picture because I thought it was the prettiest place mat I had ever seen and I did not want to leave the ocean. I am spending a lot of time torturing myself because I WANT TO BE AT THE OCEAN and not here, where I need to write two papers that are due next week, since we only have one more week of school which is SCARY. To cheer myself up about not being at the ocean, here are some pictures that make me happy.
On the cliffs at that place where Arthur's castle was. What was that place called? The New Age place where Nicholas Cage randomly was. TINTAGEL. It was gorgeous there.
Jon, after surmounting the tallest peak of the epic Jurassic Coast.
Glastonbury is a beautiful place full of beautiful people.
AND IT'S ALMOST SUMMER SO IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR US TO GO BACK HERE! :
Here meaning Bryce Canyon, which is LOVELY.
And truly, it is almost SUMMERTIMES, which are exciting times.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Book of the Week!
So I have this problem where I think everything is interesting. Like all the different cultures of the world are cool and I want to learn about them all. Therefore I have books of poetry from Australia, India, the Caribbean, and Polynesia scattered across my floor and am having a hard time processing them all. Sooo I am going to try to focus on a different region that interests me every couple of weeks and switch off every once in a while. Thus, this week's focus is PALESTINE.
I just finished reading a book of poetry called 19 Varieties of Gazelle by Naomi Shihab Nye, which was LOVELY. She's an Arab-American author and poet who ANNELISE HAS ACTUALLY MET WHICH IS SO GREAT. Her poems about the Middle Eastern Palestine conflict are just so great. And I have to say, I really don't understand why America is so pro-Zionist...because it doesn't make actual sense. Idk. So now I'm reading another book of her poetry called Honeybee, and here is a poem she wrote about George Bush, which makes me sad and pleases me.
Letters My Prez Is Not Sending
Dear Rafik, Sorry about that soccer game
you won't be attending since you now
have no...
Dear Fawziya, You know, I have a mom too
so I can imagine what you...
Dear Shadiya, Think about your father
versus democracy, I'll bet you'd pick...
No, no, Sami, that's not true
what you said at the rally,
that our country hates you,
we really support your move
toward freedom,
that's why you no longer have
a house or a family or a village...
Dear Hassan, If only you could see
the bigger picture...
Dear Mary, I'm surprised you have
what we would call a Christian name
since you yourself...
Dear Ribhia, Sorry about that heart attack,
I know it must have been rough to live
your entire life under occupation,
we're sending a few more bombs over now
to fortify your oppressors,
but someday we hope for peace in the region,
sorry you won't be there to see it...
Dear Suheir, Surely a voice is made to be raised,
don't you see we are speaking for your own interests...
Dear Sharif, Violence is wrong
unless we are using it,
why doesn't that make sense...
Dear Nadia, I did not know about
your special drawer, you know I like
to keep a few things too that have meaning to me...
Dear Ramzi, You really need to stop crying now
and go on about your business...
Dear Daddo, I know 5 kids
must feel like a lot to lose in one swoop
but we can't stop our efforts...
Dear Fatima, Of course I have feelings
for your own people, my college roommates
was from Lebanon...
Dear Mahmoud, I wish I had time
to answer your letter but you must understand
the mail has really been stacking up...
I just finished reading a book of poetry called 19 Varieties of Gazelle by Naomi Shihab Nye, which was LOVELY. She's an Arab-American author and poet who ANNELISE HAS ACTUALLY MET WHICH IS SO GREAT. Her poems about the Middle Eastern Palestine conflict are just so great. And I have to say, I really don't understand why America is so pro-Zionist...because it doesn't make actual sense. Idk. So now I'm reading another book of her poetry called Honeybee, and here is a poem she wrote about George Bush, which makes me sad and pleases me.
Letters My Prez Is Not Sending
Dear Rafik, Sorry about that soccer game
you won't be attending since you now
have no...
Dear Fawziya, You know, I have a mom too
so I can imagine what you...
Dear Shadiya, Think about your father
versus democracy, I'll bet you'd pick...
No, no, Sami, that's not true
what you said at the rally,
that our country hates you,
we really support your move
toward freedom,
that's why you no longer have
a house or a family or a village...
Dear Hassan, If only you could see
the bigger picture...
Dear Mary, I'm surprised you have
what we would call a Christian name
since you yourself...
Dear Ribhia, Sorry about that heart attack,
I know it must have been rough to live
your entire life under occupation,
we're sending a few more bombs over now
to fortify your oppressors,
but someday we hope for peace in the region,
sorry you won't be there to see it...
Dear Suheir, Surely a voice is made to be raised,
don't you see we are speaking for your own interests...
Dear Sharif, Violence is wrong
unless we are using it,
why doesn't that make sense...
Dear Nadia, I did not know about
your special drawer, you know I like
to keep a few things too that have meaning to me...
Dear Ramzi, You really need to stop crying now
and go on about your business...
Dear Daddo, I know 5 kids
must feel like a lot to lose in one swoop
but we can't stop our efforts...
Dear Fatima, Of course I have feelings
for your own people, my college roommates
was from Lebanon...
Dear Mahmoud, I wish I had time
to answer your letter but you must understand
the mail has really been stacking up...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I realize I'm a little bit strange, but...
Did the last devotional annoy anyone else? I didn't actually watch it, as per the usual, but they always have a summary in the Daily Universe, and while I was sprinting (...walking briskly) to class this morning, the headline caught my eye:
SPEAKER HIGHLIGHTS WORTH OF WOMEN
Feeling optimistic but preparing myself for disappointment, I read the opening sentence:
"Women have a sacred role in the purification and sanctification of men, said a member of the Quorum of the Seventy at Tuesday's devotional."
Elder Pace, who looks in his picture like a precious and adorable man, so no offense meant, says "women have...the destiny to complete men."
Hm. Now, I think that's all fine and dandy. I think we all have a role to play in helping complete the lives of others. But I think that goes for men as well as women--we complete each other. Putting the role squarely on women's shoulders makes for a kind of parasitic relationship.
Also, this quote made me laugh, but I think reading it out of context made it a little more oedipus/elektra-complex than it was meant to be: "If all men had the perspective of seeing women the way a father sees his daughters, 'respect for and treatment of a young woman during his dating years would improve significantly.'"
Okay, so don't be freaked out that I'm apostatizing (Mother...), but I kind of think this whole talk is being smothered in Victorian sentiment and is therefore pretty ridiculous. It sounds angel in the house/madwoman in the attic, if you know what I mean. I'm all for divine nature and completing each other, but really? Dang it, men, purify yourselves, because I'm not into accepting that it's my divine destiny to do it for you. And it's not your divine destiny to "purify" me. Either we help purify and sanctify each other, equally and as equal partners, or it's a bogus relationship with too much pressure being put on one party or the other.
Okay, my rage has been diluted somewhat. I should be carefuller (...it's not being underlined in squiggly red. Spellcheck!fail) about what I put on the internets, and I didn't actually see the devotional, so I can't really judge what Elder Pace was trying to do. And he seems like a nice old 70 dude who really was trying to emphasize that women are of worth, so that was nice of him to do, and kudos to him.
But I still disagree with him, in spite of his cuteness.
Also, 200-ish people were massacred in Nigeria the other day, which sucks. I'm sorry, Nigeria. I really am.
:(
SPEAKER HIGHLIGHTS WORTH OF WOMEN
Feeling optimistic but preparing myself for disappointment, I read the opening sentence:
"Women have a sacred role in the purification and sanctification of men, said a member of the Quorum of the Seventy at Tuesday's devotional."
Elder Pace, who looks in his picture like a precious and adorable man, so no offense meant, says "women have...the destiny to complete men."
Hm. Now, I think that's all fine and dandy. I think we all have a role to play in helping complete the lives of others. But I think that goes for men as well as women--we complete each other. Putting the role squarely on women's shoulders makes for a kind of parasitic relationship.
Also, this quote made me laugh, but I think reading it out of context made it a little more oedipus/elektra-complex than it was meant to be: "If all men had the perspective of seeing women the way a father sees his daughters, 'respect for and treatment of a young woman during his dating years would improve significantly.'"
Okay, so don't be freaked out that I'm apostatizing (Mother...), but I kind of think this whole talk is being smothered in Victorian sentiment and is therefore pretty ridiculous. It sounds angel in the house/madwoman in the attic, if you know what I mean. I'm all for divine nature and completing each other, but really? Dang it, men, purify yourselves, because I'm not into accepting that it's my divine destiny to do it for you. And it's not your divine destiny to "purify" me. Either we help purify and sanctify each other, equally and as equal partners, or it's a bogus relationship with too much pressure being put on one party or the other.
Okay, my rage has been diluted somewhat. I should be carefuller (...it's not being underlined in squiggly red. Spellcheck!fail) about what I put on the internets, and I didn't actually see the devotional, so I can't really judge what Elder Pace was trying to do. And he seems like a nice old 70 dude who really was trying to emphasize that women are of worth, so that was nice of him to do, and kudos to him.
But I still disagree with him, in spite of his cuteness.
Also, 200-ish people were massacred in Nigeria the other day, which sucks. I'm sorry, Nigeria. I really am.
:(
Friday, February 26, 2010
What I Have Gained From My College Education.
What? Do my homework instead of posting on this blog? Back, you scurvy knaves and demons of my mind! My homework shall remain undone while I write down various quotes heard a) in my classrooms, from various professors; b) from random students across campus, and c) my blithely innocent young roommates. Hee hee.
FIRST, THE PROFESSORS. Ah, the almighty power of the PhD.
In religion class:
You have to read your scriptures on your anniversary, and the Song of Solomon is a great warm-up act.
Why do you all freak out every time I talk about sex? It's like you're in high school or something. Don't freak out about things I get to do that you don't. Ha! If you're not married, go get married. It's good stuff.
In a different and much better religion class:
Mormonism is the ultimate sci-fi religion.
In African lit class:
Say a cheetah sees an antelope. The antelope's not too thrilled. But say the cheetah says, heeeeeeeey everybody! An antelope!! Suddenly you've got thousands of people on your case, and you're not too happy.
In African geography:
Rwanda is like...so we're here in Utah, we're doing okay, but California's doing really bad. They have no health care, their governor has machine guns for hands. So they come over and kill us all. Yeah, it's like that.
VARIOUS STUDENTS HAVE SAID THESE WORDS WITHIN MY HEARING RANGE:
I'm writing, like, twenty missionaries. One gets home soon. I, like, *screams* CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
You should totally see The Princess and the frog. It's like not Victorian, or like all medieval like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. It's, like, modern.
Bridgett is /always/ nice to kiss.
FROM VARIOUS ROOMMATES, INCLUDING AND NOT LIMITED TO MYSELF.
That's a huge carrot! I bet it's name is...Caldwell.
Thomas, we do not name our carrots. We just eat them.
You're a laxative waiting to happen?
THE END.
FIRST, THE PROFESSORS. Ah, the almighty power of the PhD.
In religion class:
You have to read your scriptures on your anniversary, and the Song of Solomon is a great warm-up act.
Why do you all freak out every time I talk about sex? It's like you're in high school or something. Don't freak out about things I get to do that you don't. Ha! If you're not married, go get married. It's good stuff.
In a different and much better religion class:
Mormonism is the ultimate sci-fi religion.
In African lit class:
Say a cheetah sees an antelope. The antelope's not too thrilled. But say the cheetah says, heeeeeeeey everybody! An antelope!! Suddenly you've got thousands of people on your case, and you're not too happy.
In African geography:
Rwanda is like...so we're here in Utah, we're doing okay, but California's doing really bad. They have no health care, their governor has machine guns for hands. So they come over and kill us all. Yeah, it's like that.
VARIOUS STUDENTS HAVE SAID THESE WORDS WITHIN MY HEARING RANGE:
I'm writing, like, twenty missionaries. One gets home soon. I, like, *screams* CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
You should totally see The Princess and the frog. It's like not Victorian, or like all medieval like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. It's, like, modern.
Bridgett is /always/ nice to kiss.
FROM VARIOUS ROOMMATES, INCLUDING AND NOT LIMITED TO MYSELF.
That's a huge carrot! I bet it's name is...Caldwell.
Thomas, we do not name our carrots. We just eat them.
You're a laxative waiting to happen?
THE END.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
It's a party in the USA.
By which I mean HAPPY NEW YEAR. I am happy to report that I have spent the first day of the new year watching the extended versions of LotR with my estimable father, which is almost making me wish it was last winter semester, because I miss my Tolkien class. Greatest class ever. Anyway, GOOD TIMES HAVE ABOUNDED today and why haven't I seen these movies for two years hello. Also I have been doing crosswords. And taking down the Christmas tree, which is very very tall.
Also what happened today is we thought my dumb dog ate some rat poison she found in the extra wing, so she got to spend today throwing up in the backyard because we forced salt water down her throat. Sad for her. Poor dumb dog that I love. So here is a cute poem about dogs and love. For some reason the collection I have only has a part of this poem, but I can't figure out what parts got cut out of it, so...go figure.
Falling In Love is Like Owning a Dog
First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.*
Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.
-Taylor Mali
*unless you are Patrick Swayze, in which case you will get shot and die even though you are in love, which will likely result in an awkward three-way makeout scene involving your ghost, Whoopi Goldberg and Demi Moore. Gross.
So here are some pictures of some things that I love, including my cute cute dog:
Aw see she is cute.
And of course I love these people.
Picture edited by Josie. You go, Josie. You go.
AND OF COURSE I also love these people:
In a photo I think Jon took that I stole off our lovely England blog. Sorry for being an internet thief. AND AGAIN:
Also I think Jon took one of those pictures and Tiffany probably took another; they were on my facebook page, yey. I took the last one, though. Hee.
And of course, where would I be without any of these lovely people?
Dear Ellis is, alas, not pictured. She was probably taking the picture.
In conclusion, Happy New Year, my dearlings.
Probably I would have more pictures of even more people who I love if I ever took pictures of anyone besides myself.
I will conclude this inspirational post with these inspirational lines:
In place of a dark lord, you would have a queen.
Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the morn!
Treacherous as the Sea!
Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!
All shall love me and despair.
Hearts!!
Also what happened today is we thought my dumb dog ate some rat poison she found in the extra wing, so she got to spend today throwing up in the backyard because we forced salt water down her throat. Sad for her. Poor dumb dog that I love. So here is a cute poem about dogs and love. For some reason the collection I have only has a part of this poem, but I can't figure out what parts got cut out of it, so...go figure.
Falling In Love is Like Owning a Dog
First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.*
Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.
-Taylor Mali
*unless you are Patrick Swayze, in which case you will get shot and die even though you are in love, which will likely result in an awkward three-way makeout scene involving your ghost, Whoopi Goldberg and Demi Moore. Gross.
So here are some pictures of some things that I love, including my cute cute dog:
Aw see she is cute.
And of course I love these people.
Picture edited by Josie. You go, Josie. You go.
AND OF COURSE I also love these people:
In a photo I think Jon took that I stole off our lovely England blog. Sorry for being an internet thief. AND AGAIN:
Also I think Jon took one of those pictures and Tiffany probably took another; they were on my facebook page, yey. I took the last one, though. Hee.
And of course, where would I be without any of these lovely people?
Dear Ellis is, alas, not pictured. She was probably taking the picture.
In conclusion, Happy New Year, my dearlings.
Probably I would have more pictures of even more people who I love if I ever took pictures of anyone besides myself.
I will conclude this inspirational post with these inspirational lines:
In place of a dark lord, you would have a queen.
Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the morn!
Treacherous as the Sea!
Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!
All shall love me and despair.
Hearts!!
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